


No Holding Back

by LauraK1992



Category: Holby City
Genre: F/F, Lesbian, Lesbian Sex, Love, Relationship(s)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-08-14
Updated: 2017-09-14
Packaged: 2018-12-15 12:13:17
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 22,070
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11805786
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LauraK1992/pseuds/LauraK1992
Summary: After receiving a save the date for Zosia and Ollie's wedding, Jac realises that her feelings for Zosia go further than a work/friendship basis. Will she explore her feelings and more importantly, are they reciprocated. Mature warning for later chapters





	1. Chapter 1 - Save The Date

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first fan fic so go easy! I love Jac and Zosia so thought i would have a go at a Jasia storyline. Ideas and suggestions are welcome

“Eugh I hate weddings” muttered Jac after Zosia handed her a save the date card. She walked back to her office leaving the rest of the excited members of Darwin chatting about the impending wedding

She shut the door behind her to drown out the others and slumped in her office chair letting out a large sigh. She couldn’t quite believe it was really happening, they were actually going to get married. “Why of all people did she choose Oliver Valentine? Valentine! He’s a total moron” she whispered to herself. She couldn’t quite explain why she was feeling like this. She had grown closer to Zosia after being there through the ordeal with Tristan. Closer than she wanted but there was something about Zosia that drew her in, something that made her mellow and let down the ice cold exterior that she has become known for in the hospital. “I guess I should be happy for her” she said as she picked up her stethoscope and headed out the ward to check on her patients.

Several hours had passed and Jac was back in the safe place of her office, door shut and desk lamp on. She had quite a bit of paperwork to get through before she could go home. All she wanted to do was drink a large glass of wine on her comfy sofa whilst watching some crap tv. It had been a long week and she wanted to make the most of her weekend while Johnny was looking after Emma.

Lost in her thoughts, she jumped slightly at the knock on the door “Come in”

She heard the clacking of heels and looked up from her desk to see Zosia standing there. It took her slightly off guard, she had never actually realised just how beautiful she was with her long wavy hair and soft brown eyes. She was dressed in a soft flowy blouse with skinny jeans and heeled boots, all of which showed off her slim curvy figure.

“Jac are you ok?” asked Zosia

Jac suddenly realised she was wordlessly staring at Zosia, “Yes fine” Jac replied bluntly, immediately regretting her tone.

“Sorry was just in the middle of getting this paperwork done before the weekend” She explained. Everything ok?

“Yes, fine” smiled Zosia. “Just wondered if you fancied joining a couple of us for drinks at Albies. I think everyone wanted to have a post engagement /pre wedding celebration. Either that or everyone just wanted to use that as an excuse to have a drink after work laughed Zosia

“No I’m fine” replied Jac. I still have a bit of paperwork I want to get finished before I go.

“Okay. It would be lovely to see you later but if you can’t I understand” Zosia was genuinely disappointed by Jac’s response but understood how busy she was with work. “Enjoy your weekend Jac”

“You too” and with that Zosia turned and walked out the office, whilst Jac watched her every move.

She wanted to join Zosia, but the thought of the rest of the Darwin women being there put her off. Not that he disliked them, but being around them for 12 hour shifts was plenty of time, let alone spending the evening with them too.

Jac carried on with her work for another couple of hours but kept getting distracted by the look on Zosia’s face. “Was she genuinely gutted I wasn’t going or was she just being polite” she asked herself. I guess there was only one way to find out. She turned off her machine and reached into her handbag for her 3 essentials, mascara, blusher and lipstick. She didn’t want to look like she had made an effort to go for a drink, but at the same time she wanted to make herself look a bit more presentable, especially after an extra long shift. Jac turned off the light, grabbed and jacket and headed to Albie’s.

“Here goes” and with that she opened the door to the pub. Jac quickly scanned the room and instantly spotted Zosia sitting at the bar by herself. She walked over and took the seat next to her

“Large white wine for me and whatever this one is having please” Jac said to the barman.

Zosia’s face lit up as she heard the familiar voice next to her, “You came?”

Jac stayed her usual cool self, even though deep down she was so pleased that Zosia was happy to see her “Not much of a gathering, where is everyone”

“I know, pretty pathetic turn out in the end. Everyone seemed to have other plans and left about half an hour ago. Mo just went to the toilet but is heading home too, something about not wanting to leave Mr T for too long. Anyway, you’re here now so that’s all that matters”

Jac smiled and turned to Zosia, “Well I’m glad I came and saved you from a lonely drinking session, Cheers said Jac as she raised her glass

“Me too” Zosia responded as they clinked glasses.


	2. Wedding Planner

Zosia couldn’t stop herself from eyeing Jac up and down whilst she sipped her wine, taking in her beauty as the bar lights highlighted the older woman’s features. She knew she shouldn’t be looking at her in that way but she couldn’t stop herself. There was something about her, something Zosia found sexually attractive which she questioned as she has never looked at another female like it. Sure, she has looked at women before and naturally thought they were pretty or had a good figure but this was different.

“Take a picture, it will last longer” smirked Jac

“Sorry?” questioned Zosia, deep in thought

“You were staring”

“Was I?” Zosia asked, her cheeks slightly flushing from embarrassment. “I didn’t realise I was, just lost in my own thoughts” she lied

“Hmmmm anything you want to share” asked Jac probing Zosia

Zosia looked down at her Vodka and Soda whilst fiddling with the straw placed in the glass. “It’s just weddings, there is so much to think about, so much to plan. Ollie isn’t really getting that involved and is leaving all the decision making to me, my dad is just trying to win me over by throwing money around and….well sorry for being morbid but it’s times like this when I miss my mother the most. She would have loved to see me get married and we would have had such a fun time getting everything ready for the big day”

Part of Jac was sorry she asked, but couldn’t help notice the sadness in Zosia’s eyes when she spoke. Weddings were meant to be a happy time and as much as she didn’t really approve of Zosia and Ollie’s relationship, she wanted to be there for her

“I’ll help” stated Jac.

Zosia nearly choked on her drink as she tried to hold back the giggles, “You? You want to help me plan my wedding”

“What’s so funny about that?” asked Jac.  

“You just don’t seem the type that would want to come dress shopping, pick out invitations, look at flowers…you know just the usual mundane wedding stuff”

Zosia was right. Jac would normally hate those things, she doesn’t even enjoy shopping for herself let lone anyone else, but the thought of helping Zosia out and the potential of spending time with her outside of work outweighed the negatives.

“Well you may be right, but it sounds like you need someone exactly like me. I’m organised, honest and female which means I’m already winning over the other options of Ollie, your Dad or Dom” Smiled Jac

Zosia was a little taken back, she could see Jac was being genuine and not taking the piss or being her usual sarcastic self. They weren’t exactly the best of friends, but Jac was putting herself out there to help Zosia again and she couldn’t understand why. Did she just feel sorry for Zosia or was there something more to it.

“Well you make a good case Miss Naylor. If you’re sure you don’t mind then I would love your help”

Jac reached out and without thinking, gently rubbed Zosia’s forearm, “It would be my honour Dr March”

They stared at each other until it had dawned on Jac what she was doing. She quickly withdrew her hand and reached for her wine glass. She downed the last few drops of her wine, put the glass back down on the bar and pushed it towards to the barman.

“Would you like another?” asked the barman

“No thank you, that’s my lot for the night”

Zosia tried to hide her disappointment that the night had come to an end and Jac was heading home

“Well I better make a move, think my bed is calling my name” joked Jac

She put on her jacket and picked up her bag which she threw over her shoulder

“Thank you for coming and thank you for the drink” said Zosia

“My pleasure”

“And thank you again for…well just everything. You always seem to be there when I need you most” Zosia softly said whilst gazing at Jac

There was a pause and slight hesitation before Jac leant over and delicately placed a kiss on Zosia’s cheek, “My pleasure Zosia”

And with that she turned and headed out of the pub. Zosia wasn’t sure, but it seemed there was more of a strut to Jac’s walk as she left. She swayed her hips in such a way that her fitted formal trousers highlighted her pert round bum.

“Is she doing that on purpose” Zosia whispered to herself

Once again she was taken out of her thoughts, “Sorry what was that”

“I said would you like another?” asked the barman

“Oh no, I’m fine thank you” Zosia politely replied. “Think it’s time I headed home rather than sit here drinking by myself on a Friday night”

The barman smiled and took away the empty glasses from Zosia.

She got up and headed out the door, letting out a big long sigh as the cold night air hit her. She couldn’t quite shake the feeling of how good Jac’s soft lips felt against her skin, how good Jac smelt and how she couldn’t wait to see her again. Was this the effect of too many Vodka’s or was she really feeling like this. Only time would tell…Bring on Monday she said to herself as she headed towards the Taxi rank to make her way home


	3. Chapter 3

All Jac wanted to do was get back to her ward but instead she had to sit in the monthly board meeting with Hanssen and the rest of the head of departments. It was one of the downsides to her job as she wasn't interested in the slightest about hospital politics. She knew how to run Darwin in the best possible way and she wasn't open to any input from the other head of departments. Usually she could suffer through, but today was different. Today seemed to drag and it may have been due to her wanting to see a certain brunette F2 on her ward. She just couldn't get her out of her head. All weekend she had been thinking about Zosia, the way their eyes met on Friday night. The way Zosia's face lit up when Jac had offered help. The way her cheeks flushed when she kissed her goodbye. She wouldn't normally overthink these things, especially when it comes to love or relationships. Jac is the type of woman that knows what she wants and who she wants and wouldn't let anything get in the way, but with Zosia it's different. She feels totally washed over by feelings and emotions, something that hasn't happened to her since Joseph, but that was a long time ago

“And what do you think Ms Naylor”

Jac looked at Henrik like a deer caught in headlights. She hadn't been listening to a word that was said for at least the last 5 minutes. She looked round at the room and saw everyone else staring her. 'Shit' was the only thing going through her mind at the moment.

She glanced down at the agenda to try and work out what the room had just been discussing.

“I completely agree, I think it's the best option for the hospital as a whole” she said cautiously, hoping that this generic sentence would get her off the hook

“Ok so we are all in agreement then” stated Henrik in his authoritative voice. "We will trial the new procedure from next week and all report back in the next meeting. I think that concludes everything for today. If no one else has anything they wish to address then you are all free to return back to your duties. Thank you everyone"

"Ms Naylor, do you have a moment?" asked Henrik

The rest of the staff had vacated the room and Jac was now standing opposite Henrik with raised eyebrows, waiting for him to speak.

"You seemed a bit distracted today Ms Naylor, is everything ok?

"Fine Henrik, just want to get back to my ward and start treating my patients" she lied.

He didn't seem convinced with Jac’s answer, but didn't pry any further. He nodded and with that Jac gave him a half-hearted smile, turned on her heels and left the room shutting the door behind her. She felt so pathetic at the thought of rushing back to Darwin just to see Zosia, but she couldn't help herself. She repeatedly pressed the lift button urging it to come quicker, as if it would

Finally back on her ward, she walked up to the nurse’s station scanning the rooms on the way. She couldn't see Zosia, only Matteo and Dr Ford

"Dr March not around?" She asked them both casually

"No, she was called into theatre by AAU", Matteo replied. "A trauma patient needed urgent heart surgery and Zosia was the only one available at the time"

"Fine, tell her to see me in my office when she gets back" she said to them both sternly. They both nodded in unison and Jac skulked back to her office, slamming the door behind door.

**********************************************************************************************************************************************

Jac looked up and listened intently as she could hear angry loud voices coming from outside. She huffed and pushed herself of her seat and headed towards the commotion.

“What the hell is going on” she angrily asked. She stared between Ollie and Guy as she witnessed Ollie holding guy up against the wall by the scruff of his neck.

“Nothing, everything is fine” Ollie said as he released his hands from Guy.

Guy looked guilty as ever. Jac couldn’t not stand the smarmy, self-absorbed prick. She couldn’t believe Zosia was related to him, she obviously had all her mother’s traits passed on to her as she was nothing like him.

“Glad to hear it! I want you both off my ward now!”

Guy straightened his shirt, picked up the patient files off the floor and headed towards the lifts. Ollie followed looking very sheepish. Jac stared at them both waiting for them to be out of her sight, when Zosia appeared out the corner of her eye. Amongst the angry exchange, she hadn’t even noticed Zosia watching on. She wanted to call out for her, but with such a packed ward she couldn’t. It would look strange. She watched Zosia chase after Ollie, silently urging her to look around.

“Ok shows over” she shouted. “Everyone back to work”

Just as Jac went to walk away, she noticed Zosia staring back at her. Their eyes met in the same way as the other night and Jac couldn’t drag herself away. Instead she gave Zosia a small smile as if to say everything will be ok, but Zosia couldn’t quite do the same. She was both upset and embarrassed by what had just happened between her dad and fiancé that she looked away and got in the lift with Ollie. Jac felt a little saddened but understood that Zosia needed to resolve whatever had just happened between the two men in her life

*************************************************************************************************************************************

Jac checked her watch, 7.15pm, she had just finished in theatre after a long complex surgery and was on her way to collect her coat and bag so she could head home. As she passed the locker room on Darwin, she noticed the door was slightly ajar and could hear muffled cries. Not one to get involved with her staff on a personal, she went to walk past when it dawned on her who it could be. She took a step back and peered through the door. She could only see the bottom half of scrubs so pushed the door open wider to get a better look. It was then she made out the top of the person’s head and instantly recognised the neat brunette bun.

“Zosia?” Jac asked as she stepped into the room, carefully closing the door behind her

Zosia looked up from the wooden bench she was sitting on, mascara smudged around her eyes from where she had been crying. She look rather surprised to see Jac standing there,

“I thought you had gone already” replied Zosia

“No, I’ve been in theatre for the last few hours” Why are you still here? Your shift ended well over an hour ago” Jac stated, still concerned over the state Zosia had got herself in

She walked over to Zosia, and sat down next to her, waiting for her to say something

Zosia struggled to hold back the tears, “I couldn’t face going home yet”. She turned towards Jac. “The argument between my Dad and Ollie was over Tara. My dad went to Hansen to present one of his ideas about Neurosurgery and used her scans as Patient A. That was the reason he wanted Ollie in the room with him, he knew he would figure out that was Tara. He wanted to get a rise out of Ollie and create a wedge between us”

Jac continued to listen, not quite believing what she was hearing. She knew how much of a dick Guy was, but to stoop this low to hurt his own daughter was disgusting. She could feel the anger rise up inside her.

Zosia continued, “And he’s managed it. It has obviously brought up old feelings for Ollie, Tara was his true love and I’m just the second best replacement”

Zosia started to sob again, “I’m sorry, I don’t even know why I’m telling you this”

Jac wrapped her arm around Zosia and let her head fall on her shoulder. “Shhhh, it’s ok Zosia, I’m here for you. I meant what I said, I will always be there when you need me. You should know that”

Jac turned and lifted both hands to cup Zosia face “And don’t ever think you are second best, Ollie is so lucky to have someone like you”. You’re perfect” Jac whispered

Their eyes met for the second time that day, both unsure of what the other was thinking. Zosia couldn’t bear the tension rising between them and leaned forward meeting Jac’s soft lips. She kissed her with such passion that everything she had been feeling about the day’s events disappeared. She lifted her hand to grab the back of Jac’s neck, needing to draw her in closer when she felt Jac pull away.

She opened her eyes and saw Jac’s shocked expression. Zosia had completely overstepped the mark and misread the situation. All Jac was doing was providing a shoulder to cry on and she had ruined everything. Not only was Jac her boss, but she was also the person that had been there throughout everything.

“Shit, I’m so sorry” Zosia wanted the ground to swallow up her, but instead she picked up her belongings and darted out the room, not daring to look back.

“Zosia! Wait, come back!” Jac yelled. She got up to follow Zosia but she was nowhere to be seen.

Jac stood in the corridor of Darwin, confused, her brain trying to catch up with exactly what had happened.


	4. Chapter 4

Zosia couldn’t get away fast enough. Her day had just gone from bad to worse with one kiss, a kiss with the only person that she had left to turn to.

“You idiot” She whispered to herself as she raced along the hospital corridors. She stopped outside the door of the on call room, knocking before she entered to make sure it wasn’t already in use. When there was no response, she let herself inside, locking the door behind her. She had no option but to spend the night there, she wasn’t speaking to Ollie so couldn’t go home, after the day’s events Guy was out the question and Dom was on shift so couldn’t crash at his. She placed her bag and shoes on the floor and flopped onto the bed, allowing silent tears to fall onto the pillow.

Zosia was slowly drifting off to sleep when she heard her phone vibrating. She ignored it, she really didn’t want to have to deal with whoever was trying to get hold of her. A few minutes passed and her phone went off again. She knew it would be 1 of 3 people but didn’t want to see what either one of them had to say. However curiosity took the better of her and she reached into her bag to find her phone.

1 Missed Call – Jac Naylor

 

1 New Message

Jac Naylor

 

“Oh shit” she panicked, that was the last person out of the three she wanted to hear from. Zosia swiped on her screen to open the text;

_Zosia, please don’t worry about what happened between us tonight. I am in my office, should be here for another half an hour so if you want to talk, I’m here. I meant what I said, I will always be there when you need me. Jac x_

Zosia re-read the message, making sure she hadn’t misunderstood the first time around. Jac wasn’t angry or didn’t want to transfer her to another ward or even tell her never to speak to her again. She couldn’t believe it, Zosia was sure she had blown any sort of relationship that was developing, both professionally and personally. She contemplated going to Jac’s office that night but thought it would be better for her to get some sleep and see her in the morning. With that she rolled over, shut her eyes and drifted off to get some much needed sleep

 *****************************************************************

It was the next morning and Jac was back in her office, cup of coffee in hand, checking her emails and schedule for the day ahead. She noticed a name in her inbox that caught her eye and proceeded to read the email. Her expression changed and she let out a sad sigh.

“That’s just great”

She got up and headed for the nurses station

“Has anyone seen Dr March” she asked.

The nurses looked up from what they were doing, shook their heads and continued with their work. Jac hadn’t seen or heard from Zosia since their exchange in the locker room the night before, so was a little concerned. She took out her mobile and sent Zosia a text.

_Bzzzzz Bzzzz_

Zosia, disorientated from waking up from her sleep, reached under her pillow and opened the message on her phone

_Zosia where are you? Was expecting to see you when my shift started this morning. Please let me know you’re ok x_

“SHIT!”

Zosia looked at the time, 8.30am, her shift started over an hour ago. She leapt out of bed and rushed to get herself ready, ensuring that she tidied the on call room up, leaving any trace of her stay there.

 ******************************************************************

Zosia made her way to Darwin, where she bumped into one of the nurses, “Ms Naylor is looking for you. She’s gone back to her office”

“Thanks” replied Zosia and she hesitantly made her way over to the consultant’s door. With a deep breath and a shaky hand, Zosia knocked twice

“Come in” said the stern voice from behind the door

Zosia stepped inside the room and saw Jac head down, buried in some patients notes. Jac looked up, peering over the top of her glasses.

“Zosia!”

“Jac I’m so sorry for everything. I didn’t mean for last night to happen, I was so upset and angry and you showed me comfort and affection and I mistook it completely. I got your text but wasn’t sure how to reply and so I didn’t and that wasn’t me being rude, I just… 

“Zosh…Jac tried to stop her but she carried on. Jac was sure she hadn’t taken a breath since she started talking”

“And I’m sorry about being late. I’m not taking advantage or anything like that, I must have been more tired than I thought as I completely missed my alarm and slept right through it. I’m really sorry and I promise it won’t happen again”

Jac stared at her with a slight smirk on her face. Zosia was so endearing when she was like this, she wished she had kissed her back last night but deep down she knew it wouldn’t have been the right time

“Zosia, calm down, it’s fine. I was just worried about you, I wanted to make sure everything was ok”

Zosia relaxed a bit and smiled back at Jac.

“And what happened last night, it’s forgotten” Jac didn’t really want to forget but Zosia was obviously just looking for comfort and didn’t mean for things to get that far.

“I did actually want to speak to you this morning, but for something totally unrelated”

Zosia looked at Jac Intrigued

“About a month ago, I put your name forward for a placement in advanced cardiothoracics where you would be working alongside one of the top UK surgeons in London and… er…..you have been accepted. It’s for 10 months starting 6 weeks from today. And I would need a decision by next Monday morning at the very latest. I’m sorry to spring this on you after everything that has happened, but I only received the email this morning”

Zosia just sat there, gobsmacked. 10 months was a long time to be away from everyone and it would mean delaying the wedding, if there was still a wedding. But on the other hand, when would she ever get the opportunity at anything like this.

“I errr, I need time to think about this. I need to know what is happening, here, right now before I can agree to something this big”

Part of Jac was happy Zosia didn’t jump at the opportunity. It was selfish of her but she didn’t want Zosia to leave. She was so used to having her around and the thought of a replacement for Zosia on her team left her a little down.

“I understand Zosia, it’s a big step and you need to be 100% sure before you make your mind up. Plus I imagine you would want to talk to Oliver”

Zosia nodded, “Hmm”

There was a slight pause before Jac went to speak again

“Oh I almost forgot. It seems a little trivial now, but I’m meant to be going to a black tie event Saturday night at some fancy hotel on behalf of the hospital. Mr Rossini was meant to be my plus one but has pulled out last minute. If you’re not busy I wondered whether you would accompany me. It will be a bit dull, but there is a 5 course dinner and a free bar. Plus you get to spend the evening with one of Holby’s finest surgeons” Joked Jac. “You can also stay overnight, Hanssen has booked 2 single rooms rather than travel back that evening”

Zosia felt very honoured and privileged that Jac Naylor would ask her out of everyone. She didn’t even need to contemplate it, she smiled at Jac

“Well how could I pass up on such a good offer? I would love to” replied Zosia

Jac felt her stomach flutter with the thought of spending a weekend outside of work with Zosia. “Don’t get too excited” she told herself, especially after Zosia will more than likely go ahead with the placement”

“Great, I’m actually looking forward to it now” Jac claimed.

She gathered her files and made her way to the other side of the desk so she was standing next to Zosia. She placed her hand delicately on her back, “Well we better get back out there and start treating our patients”

And with that they made their way back on to the ward, both secretly awaiting the arrival of Saturday.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for dragging this out a bit, but I promise it won't be long before sparks fly :D!

Chapter 5

*Beep Beep*

Zosia looked at her watch, the taxi was early but she was ready. She had been ready over an hour, eagerly awaiting the night away in London. She had found the perfect dress and couldn’t wait to get glammed up for the evening. It had been ages since the last time she had a proper night out and this was the perfect distraction after everything the week had thrown at her. She picked up her suitcase, shut the door and got into the car

“Thank you, what do I owe you” Zosia asked the driver

“Nothing at all, it was paid in full when your employer booked me. Here, let me help you with that” The driver offered as he lifted Zosia’s case from the back seat”

“Oh ok, great. Thanks again” smiled Zosia and she headed towards the train station entrance where she saw a familiar red head outside.

“Ahh finally, I’ve been waiting ages” claimed Jac. Well it seemed like ages but it had been more like 10 minutes. Time seemed to drag as she was waiting for Zosia’s arrival, but that may have been a little to do with Jac’s eagerness at spending time with her

“I hardly doubt that” smirked Zosia. “My taxi was early and our train doesn’t leave for another 45 minutes

“Whatever, let just check in and see what platform we have to go to”

Zosia could feel a bit of tension coming from Jac but wasn’t sure why. They had smoothed things over after that kiss and the last few days at work had been great. They had been working seamlessly in surgery together and were fast becoming a great team in theatre and on the ward.

“Ok well it’s on time which is a good thing, Platform 4 apparently. We can head over now if you like and get settled?” asked Jac

“Fine by me” and they both walked towards the platform, dragging their suitcase behind them

 

“No Jac, further down, these are the first class carriages”

Jac looked at Zosia in amusement, “I know Zosia, believe it or not I can read. I spoke to Hanssen and after he dropped me in it tonight, I said he could make it up to me by upgrading our tickets and rooms at the hotel”

Zosia looked at Jac puzzled at they climbed the step onto the train

“Dropped you in it?” Zosia asked

There was a brief silence while Jac was moving along the carriage to their seats. She placed both their bags in the storage rack and sat down in the designated seat opposite Zosia

“Yes. He has asked me if I can say a few words on behalf of the hospital as someone else couldn’t make it. So I spent the majority of last night putting a speech together, hence he reason I look so terrible this morning”

That explained Jac’s moodiness when Zosia got to the station. She knew that Jac didn’t particularly like public speaking and her way of dealing with her nerves was to be rude and snappy to everyone around her.

“You don’t look terrible….you look lovely. You always do” stated Zosia

“Ha thanks, but you’re a very bad liar Zosia”

“No I mean it Jac, and don’t worry about tonight. You will be great” Zosia looked at her with such warmth and sincerity that Jac’s stomach started to flutter again. She wasn’t used to someone being this kind and complimentary to her.

“So, how’s things with Ollie” Jac asked deflecting the attention of her

“I’m so glad you chose such a good topic of conversation for the journey” Zosia replied sarcastically.

Jac could kick herself for being so direct sometimes. These were the sorts of conversations that the other person started when they wanted to talk about it

“Sorry, you don’t have to answer. I just wanted to know if you’re ok”

“Don’t be silly, it’s fine. You’re the only person I can talk to about it anyway” smiled Zosia. “Honest answer is, I have no idea. We haven’t really seen much of each other so there hasn’t been a good time where we can both talk things through. I tried to mention the placement the other day, but he seemed so distant that I didn’t bother. I caught him looking at Tara’s scans again when I got home from work the other night, he just can’t seem to let her go.

Jac listened on intently

“I get it. If someone told me that a different approach could have saved my mother’s life I would want to know about it. But when you’re gone, you’re gone and nothing we do now is going to change what happened. I just need him to be here, in the present, not dwelling on the past and if he can’t do that, I don’t see how we can have a future together”

Jac could see Zosia’s eyes start to fill up, she reached out over the table and stroked her hand delicately.

“The problem with Oliver Valentine is that he doesn’t realise how much of a good thing he has got right here right now. You need someone who is going to treat you right, someone who is going to appreciate everything about you” Jac looked deep in Zosia’s beautiful brown eyes and was now holding her hand rather than stroking it.

Zosia smiled back at her, squeezing Jac’s hand affectionately

“Tea, coffee?” asked the lady with the drinks trolley

It took a moment for them to realise they were being spoken to, both captivated in what the other was saying. They didn’t even notice that the train had departed Holby and was on its way to London

Zosia cleared her throat and removed her hand from Jac’s

“Tea please”

“And for you madam”?

“Coffee, thanks” replied Jac

The lady handed them their drinks, gave them both a smile with her ruby red lips and continued down the carriage seeing to the rest of the passengers

“I’m actually quite excited about this, never really been to London before”

Jac looked her, surprised, “What never?”

“Well my mum and dad took me one Christmas when I was 5 or 6, but I was so young I can’t even remember it” she smiled

“Well that’s Sunday sorted, we will get a later train home so we have time to be tourists for the day” Jac joked

“But don’t you need to get back for Emma?” Zosia asked.

“No it’s fine, I normally pick her up from Johnny’s on a Monday morning to take her to nursery so it’s not a problem”

Zosia beamed at Jac “Thank you”

“My pleasure, it will be fun”. And Jac meant it. She couldn’t think of a better way of spending her Sunday afternoon

They continued to chat all the way to London, making the journey fly by and before they knew it they were in London Victoria. They collected their belongings and headed through the packed station towards the line of black cabs waiting outside. They didn’t have to wait long before they were at the front of the queue.

“Where to love?” Ask the cabbie

“The landmark Hotel please” asked Jac

“Oooo sounds fancy” Zosia joked

Jac just turned to her and smiled with raised eyebrows. She put their bags in the back and hopped in after Zosia. The journey wasn’t very long only about 15-20mins but the whole way Zosia looked like a child on Christmas morning, taking in the sights that the capital had to offer. Jac just watched her, she hadn’t seen Zosia this content in a long time.

“Wow, look at that building with all the flags. It’s massive!” pointed Zosia

“Glad you like it as that is where we are resting our pretty little heads for the night”

Zosia’s head whipped round to Jac

“There? That’s our hotel?” asked Zosia

“It is indeed love, that will be £17.60” said the cab driver

Jac reached in her purse and handed him a £20 note, “Keep the change, thanks”. They exited the cab and were warmly greeted by an older gentleman, dressed very smartly. He held open the door allowing them both to pass with their luggage,

“Welcome to the Landmark ladies. Check in is that way, enjoy your stay”

“Wait here, I’ll get our keys” Jac said

Zosia just nodded, she was too busy taking in her surroundings. The hotel was so elegant, from the white marble floor, to the chandeliers hanging from the high ceilings, the plush furniture scattered around the lobby and the beautiful grand piano in the distance. She couldn’t wait to see her room

“Zosia” Jac called out for her, “This way”

Zosia quickly followed Jac through the lobby into one of the lifts

“Well Hanssen kept his promise and made it up to me with the room upgrades!” Even Jac seemed excited as she held up the key cards to Zosia

“What rooms have we got” asked Zosia

“Not rooms Zosia…Suites!”

“Ahhh really?!” squealed Zosia

“Shhhh, this is a sophisticated establishment” Jac stated in her best posh voice

The lift binged and they had reached their floor. They were pretty much opposite each other and as they got to their room doors, Jac handed Zosia her key.

“This one is for you. We have got a couple of hours until we have to be ready, so shall we say meet at the bar for 6.30? Gives us half an hour for a quick drink before the main event?

“Sounds good to me” replied Zosia. “Looking forward to it”

They exchanged a long gaze and smile before both heading into their suites to get ready for the evening

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for all reading, I promise the Jasia moment everyone wants will be coming up in the next chapter :)

Jac gave herself another once over in the mirror and smoothed her dressed with her hands. It wasn’t often she got dressed up, but for these sort of occasions, she liked to make the effort. Her usually dead straight hair was in loose curls, her make-up highlighted her model like cheekbones and porcelain skin, and the long black evening dress with delicate embellishment showed off her slim hourglass figure that was always hidden in her purple scrubs. She was nervous, a trait of her personality that made a very rare appearance, but with the speech she had to prepare and make at the last minute, plus her struggle to suppress the strong feelings that were growing towards Zosia, it was a lot to deal with.  She held her wrist out and checked the time, 6.15pm. Still 15 minutes before she had agreed to meet Zosia in the bar, but she couldn’t wait in her room any longer. She grabbed her clutch bag, slipped on her Valentino heels and slowly made her way downstairs

Down the corridor in the next room, Zosia was doing the same. She had spent the last hour and a half getting ready, making sure she looked perfect for the evening. She would be surrounded by renowned surgeons and doctors from the UK so wanted to make a good first impression. Checking the time and noticing it was nearly 6.30pm, she quickly applied another coat of lipstick and made her way out the door.

“Are you ok madam” Asked one of the employees

“Erm actually, I’m looking for the Mirror Bar” replied Zosia

“Ah, this way” smiled the polite young man

“Thank you”, and Zosia followed him through reception, down a couple of corridors and into the bar

“If there is anything else you need please let me know”

“That’s very lovely of you”

“Not a problem madam, have a wonderful evening”

“You too” Zosia called out

Jac was sitting at the bar, Jameson on the rocks in hand, when she heard Zosia and an unfamiliar male voice in the background. She turned her head and there she was, more beautiful than she had ever seen her, dressed in an elegant dark navy evening gown with a sweetheart neckline showing just a hint of cleavage. She took one large gulp of her drink, emptying the glass and resumed to her previous position, not wanting to be caught eyeing her up and down. However it didn’t last long. As she heard Zosia’s heels walking towards her, she turned round and saw Zosia smiling widely

“I see you started without me” Zosia joked

Jac got up from the black leather bar stool and greeted Zosia with a returning smile and a kiss on each cheek.

Before Jac could respond with her witty replied Zosia stopped her in her tracks

“Jac wow, you look amazing! You are going to blow them all away tonight” Now it was Zosia’s turn to stare. She genuinely meant it, Jac looked incredible, and she felt rather lucky to be spending the evening with her

“Not so bad yourself” was all Jac could muster up, but instantly kicked herself. That was not the response she wanted to give Zosia

“I errr, I’m joking” she smiled “You look absolutely stunning Zosia, proud to have you as my date for tonight”

Date? Date?! Thought Jac. Where that came from, she was meant to say plus one. Luckily it looked as if it went over Zosia’s head as she didn’t react.

She cleared her though “Uh huh, can I get you a drink” asked Jac.

“A glass of prosecco would be lovely thanks” said Zosia

“No problem, think I’ll join you. There is a booth over there if you prefer, might be more comfy than these stools. I can bring it over?”

“Ok, sounds good, thanks”

Zosia made her way over to the empty seats, not realising that Jac was peering over her shoulder while she walked away. She couldn’t quite get over how sexy Zosia looked, tonight was going to be much harder to get through than she first thought.

 *Bzzzz bzzzzz*

Zosia took out her phone and saw a message from Ollie’

_Zosh, have a good time tonight, even though you have to spend most of it with the Ice Queen! I know I haven’t been the best over the last few days, think we need to sort things out and have a chat when you get back. Speak to you tomorrow xxxx_

She was so engrossed that she didn’t even notice that Jac had just sat down in front of her;

“Everything alright” asked Jac

“Mmm, just Ollie”

Jac grabbed Zosia’s phone, quickly reading the message on the screen

“Ice Queen? How original. Not been the best, is he being serious? You could do so much better” Jac stated

She held the phone in front of her waiting for Zosia to grab it back, but instead she just stared at her.

“Can you keep hold of it for now, I don’t really want to deal with him tonight”

Jac just raised her eyebrows and nodded. “I think we should probably get going, take your drink with you”

The both got up and headed towards to the event room. On the way they saw some of the other doctors and Jac made sure she pointed the important ones out to Zosia explaining who they were and what their speciality was. There was someone outside to greet them and show them where they would be seated. Luckily Jac was familiar with most of the other guests on her table, particularly a Dr Rebecca McGinty.

“Come on, let’s head straight to the table. We can do the niceties once I’ve had a bit more alcohol” stated Jac

Zosia stayed close to Jac, noticing people turn and nod their heads in their direction. It seemed as though Jac was quite well known within the room, making her feel even luckier to have had the opportunity to be her “date” for the evening.  

A fairly tall blonde woman, similar to Jac’s age got up from the table, arms stretched out heading towards them

“Jacs! Oh my god!”

She gave Jac the warmest of greetings, hugging her tightly.

“I can’t believe it, how many years has it been! You look incredible. What are you doing here?”

Jac looked genuinely pleased to see her

“Becky. Great to see you, been far too long! I thought you were working in the private sector?” asked Jac

“I was, but it just didn’t feel right. Believe it or not, I missed the NHS too much”

Zosia watched the pair engage in conversation, both catching up on what the other one had been doing. She hadn’t seen Jac like this with anyone other than herself, when it was just the two of them. She tried to take a step back letting them carry on and catch up on their lives for the past few years, but Jac had noticed

“I’m sorry, Becky this is Zosia, one of Holby’s finest young doctors and an integral part of my team” Jac smiled at Zosia. “And this is Rebecca McGinty, we went to med school together and she’s…”

“…The UK’s leading transplant surgeon” Zosia finished Jac’s sentence. “Wow, absolute pleasure to meet you”

“Likewise, seems like you have made a good impression on the formidable Ms Naylor” she joked.

Zosia just smiled, shaking Rebecca’s hand.

“I wouldn’t say formidable, I just have high standards” stated Jac

Rebecca and Zosia both looked at each other, smirking knowing exactly what Jac was really like

“We had better take our seats, looks like the food is here” stated Rebecca

Luckily Zosia had been placed between Jac and Rebecca, which she was secretly pleased about. Not that she wanted Jac to herself all evening, but she didn’t want to feel left out if Jac and Rebecca would be talking all night. The food and drink flowed and with the last course being served, it meant it was nearly time for the speeches to start. Zosia had been busy engaging in conversations with most of the others seated at the table, but had increasingly noticed Jac become less vocal. She placed her hand on Jac’s knee and leant over to whisper in Jac’s ear

“You will be great, no need to be nervous”

Jac shivered at the feel of Zosia’s warm breath and long delicate fingers placed on her knee”

“I was always told to picture everyone naked, apparently it helps” laughed Zosia

Jac knew for a fact that it wouldn’t help, especially if that thought had to be applied to Zosia. If anything, it would make it far worse

“I’m not, I’m fine” lied Jac

An older gentlemen was stood at the front of the room on a raised platform with a glass plinth and microphone. He had welcomed the room and gave a brief introduction of himself and the purpose of the evening

“First up, I’m delighted to welcome Ms Jacqueline Naylor to the stage, who is here on behalf of Holby City hospital”

“The room applauded as Jac got up off her seat and made her way to the stage and deliver her speech. Zosia couldn’t understand why she was so nervous, she was such a natural public speaker and had the ability to captivate the whole room. Zosia just watched her in admiration and this didn’t go unnoticed by Rebecca

“Magnificent, isn’t she” Rebecca whispered to Zosia

“Most definitely” she replied not taking her eyes of Jac

Rebecca picked up on the pair’s chemistry over the dinner table, noticing their lingering stares and tactile body language.

“How long have you been together” Rebecca asked, knowing full well of the answer, but wanting to gage Zosia’s reaction

“What? Oh no, we’re not together like that. Just work colleagues” Zosia replied a bit flustered.

“I’m so sorry, I just thought…it doesn’t matter. It was wrong of me to assume, I mean she’s had relationships with men ever since we split up in med school”

Zosia just gawped at Rebecca, surprised at what she was hearing

“You mean, you and Jac…”

“Oh god, this was years ago. Think it was more of an experimental phase for both of us. Realised quite quickly that we were better off as friends. Don’t tell her I told you, she’ll kill me!”

The room applauded, Jac had finished her speech and was heading back to the table. She sat down, took some more sips of her drink and turned to Zosia who was just staring back at her

“Was I that bad?” Jac asked

“What?! No” Zosia snapped out of her thoughts. Quite the opposite actually, you were fantastic” she beamed

Jac smiled and was thanking everyone else around the table as they praised her on how well she done.

“Time to relax, have a few drinks and enjoy the rest of the evening” said Jac

“Here Here” Rebecca raised her glass watching on at Zosia and Jac

 

After another hour or so, the speeches were finished and the entertainment had started, a live band followed by a DJ. Zosia was looking forward to this, any excuse for a good dance and she was there.

“Come on you two!” Zosia stated, trying to drag both Jac and Rebecca up

“Not my thing I’m afraid. I may have two very skilled hands, but I unfortunately have two left feet” replied Rebecca. “Jac on the other hand loves a good dance, don’t you Jackie” laughed Rebecca

“Absolutely not! No way, uh uh” Jac replied, throwing one of her famous Naylor glares at Rebecca

“Oh come on, for me, plllease” Zosia asked with her best puppy face impression

Jac huffed, downed the rest of her drink and got up. She would never dance and make a fool of herself, its more of her style to be propped up at the bar, watching everyone else make idiots of themselves, but she couldn’t resist Zosia “Just once dance, on the condition you don’t tell anyone else at work about this. You owe me” she smirked

Rebecca studied the pair as they walked off together, Jac’s hand placed on Zosia’s lower back as they walked off, whispering and giggling. She could see how much Jac liked her, but it was becoming more obvious that Zosia felt the same way. She wanted to give her friend a bit of encouragement, but thought best to leave them to it and see what the rest of the evening would bring.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in posting this, just wanted it to be right. Hopefully the build up was worth it, please let me know what you think
> 
> Mature warning

“So much for one dance” Rebecca joked as she approached Zosia and Jac on the dance floor

“I’m not allowed to leve apparently” Jac joked as Zosia smiled back at her

“I can see that. I’m heading off now, so just wanted to say goodbye. Zosia, been a pleasure to meet you, keep up the good work” Rebecca said as she went in to give Zosia a kiss on the cheek

“You too” replied Zosia

“Jac, been so lovely to see you again. Let’s not leave it so long next time?” Rebecca opened her arms to offer her a hug, to which Jac responded. Jac wasn’t usually the huggy type, but always became a bit more affectionate after a few drinks

“You too, let’s keep in touch, now you know where to find me”

They gave each other a quick squeeze and just has they broke away, Rebecca whispered in Jac’s ear

“Go for it, she likes you too”

Jac pulled away quicker than expected and stared wide eyed at Rebecca. She couldn’t believe what she had just heard. Was she making it that obvious that she like Zosia more than a friend and colleague? And what had Zosia done or said to Rebecca for her to think Zosia felt the same.

“Enjoy the rest of your evening you two” She winked and smiled at Jac and tottered off towards the exit

“Ahh, she’s lovely isn’t she” gushed Zosia

“Mmmm, yeah” Jac replied, still deep in thought

“You ok?” Asked Zosia

Jac snapped out of her thoughts,

“Yes fine” she smiled “Think I’m just tired, might be time for me to head to my room too”

“Ok, shall we make a move now then” asked Zosia

“You don’t have to head up now just because I’m bailing, you can stay here and mingle”

“Don’t be silly, I’m coming. Don’t want to be here without you, around all these people I don’t know” smiled Zosia

Jac jokingly rolled her eyes, “Come on then, if you have to”

They headed out the room, managing to slip past a few small groups of surgeons who were preoccupied in their own conversations. It was only a short walk back to the lifts to take them back to their room, but no words were exchanged between the two women, just a few glances and smiles along the way. The doors opened and they both got in, Zosia pressing the button for their chosen floor

“Thank god, I can finally take these off” Jac held on to Zosia’s shoulder as she took off her heels. They had been hurting after the second song on the dance floor, but she couldn’t tear herself away from Zosia.

Zosia laughed, “I need to do the same, my feet are killing! Must have been all that dancing”

“If I remember right, that was your idea”

“Guilty” Zosia replied as she held her hands up

The lift doors opened and they walked towards their rooms, shoes in hand. There was a slight awkward pause as they stood in the corridor, both waiting for the other one to speak first

“Well I had a great time tonight, thank you” enthused Zosia.

Now this really did feel like a date, well the end of one. Jac outside Zosia’s door, fiddling with her room key contemplating whether or night to invite Zosia back for a night cap, unsure if she should kiss her goodbye. Instead she did nothing,

“Me too, thank you for coming. I’ll err, I’ll see you in the morning at breakfast?”

“Oh yes, of course” replied Zosia.

Jac skulked off, disappointed in herself for not doing or saying anything to Zosia. This could potentially be the last chance she got, with Zosia still undecided if she was going to accept the placement and leave Darwin for nearly a year. She walked into the suite, threw her shoes and bag on the floor and flopped on the edge of the bed, letting out a long disheartened sigh. The ice queen of Darwin wasn’t quite living up to her reputation.

“What are you doing? Just talk to her!” she told herself

She sat in the room for a few minutes, planning her next move. If she told Zosia how she felt and Zosia didn’t feel the same, it would ruin everything they had built up over the last few months, but if she was leaving, would that matter? It would only be her pride that would be knocked

“Now or never Naylor”

*******************

_Knock knock_

“Jac? You ok” Zosia asked, surprised to see her standing there as she open he door

“Yes, well no…errr…May I?” Jac pointed over Zosia.

“Sure, come in” Zosia stepped aside and let her through. Zosia had never seen Jac so unnerved and flustered, she was a little concerned

“Zosia I…” She paused, first looking at the floor then Zosia.

“Yes?” Zosia urged her to speak

Jac took a step forward “I need to tell you…” She paused again, this time moving her focus away from Zosia eyes to her lips. 

Zosia picked up on this and encouraged her to finish her sentence, “Tell me what”

The tension between the two had become unbearable for Jac. With the effect of the alcohol in her system and the lust for Zosia taking over, her judgement was comprised. She couldn’t take it anymore and closed the gap between them, pressing her lips against Zosia’s.

It was a soft lingering kiss, Jac unsure of how far to go with it. She had already done more than she wanted but was too late to change what had just happened.

“I’m sorry, I just…”

Zosia cut her off, “Don’t ever apologise” and launched herself at Jac. She grabbed the back of her neck and brought her in for a second kiss, this time more hungry and passionate, both wanting more of each other. Jac pushed Zosia up against the door of the room, her hands all over her body. The soft moans from Zosia were only spurring her on

“You have no idea how long I have wanted to do this” Jac said in-between kisses. She felt Zosia’s smile against her lips, their foreheads now resting against each other’s

“Stay with me tonight” whispered Zosia.

Jac looked up at Zosia, making sure she had heard correctly “Are you sure?” she asked sincerely. She didn’t want Zosia to do something she would later regret. Zosia nodded and returned to Jac’s soft wanting lips, wrapping her free hand around Jac’s waist, pressing their bodies closer together. She didn’t want this to end, it felt so good

They stayed like that for a few moments, until Jac took the plunge and made the next move. She brought her hand up to Zosia’s pert round breasts, squeezing and rubbing gently, her nipples hardening from the contact. Her lips moved away from her lips to her neck where the sensation of Jac’s wet mouth and tongue caused her to throw her head back with delight. She was dizzy with passion and wanted Jac to touch every inch of her.

“Uh, Jac” moaned Zosia

This gave Jac the encouragement she needed and her hands made their way to the back of Zosia’s dress where she slowly unfastened the zip. Without much effort the dress slid off her sexy curves, and pooled onto the floor, leaving a topless Zosia propped up against the door

The lust on Jac’s face as she saw Zosia standing there was a picture and Zosia picked up on this

“Like what you see Ms Naylor” Zosia cheekily asked

“Mmmm very much” was all Jac could muster

Zosia grabbed Jac by her dress pulling her in, wanting to feel Jac close again. She slowly made her way back down Zosia’s chest with her mouth and latched on to Zosia’s hardened nipple, rolling her hot wet tongue around it, nipping slightly with her teeth. Zosia arched her back, and brought her leg up around Jac’s hip rocking slightly for the need of more.

Jac pulled herself away much to the disappointment of Zosia, “Think I’m a tad overdressed, don’t you” smirked Jac.

Zosia couldn’t speak, instead turned Jac around and slid the zip down on Jac’s dress with shaky fingers, admiring the exposed ivory skin that was now on show. Jac held out her hand to Zosia, who accepted and she led them over to the bed.

They collapsed in the middle of the soft mattress, Zosia on her back with Jac on her side next to her

“You’re so beautiful” whispered Jac as she gazed into Zosia’s eyes, her hand slowly making its way in-between Zosia’s thighs, where she found the evidence her arousal

“Uhhh Zosia” Jac said wide eyed at the feeling of her soaked underwear. Jac didn’t need any more approval or encouragement after this and her fingers made her way under the elastic to reach Zosia’s throbbing clit. She slowly made circles with her middle finger, pressing a little harder with each rotation. She could feel Zosia respond to her touch as her hips buckled and grinded against her. Zosia’s moans got a little louder the more Jac worked her skilled fingers,

“Please Jac” Zosia held Jac’s wrist and guided it further down her pussy, she wanted more

Jac didn’t need to be told twice, her fingers wandered through Zosia’s wet folds teasing them at her opening until she slipped two fingers inside

“Uh yes” squealed Zosia. Jac gazed at the younger woman as she fucked her, hooking her fingers slightly to reach’s Zosia’s G-spot. They pumped in and out, slowly at first, but the more Zosia was coming undone, the faster Jac went. She could feel Zosia’s walls clenching around her fingers, bringing her closer and closer to her climax

“Fuck Jac” she shouted as she came, harder than she could ever remember. The undeniable sexual tension that had been building up between the pair had reached its peak in this moment. Jac just watched on in delight as Zosia rode out her orgasm, but it wasn’t enough. She wanted more. All those months of hiding her feelings had brought her to this moment, and she was going to make the most of it in case she only ever spent this one night with her.

Jac pulled her hand out of Zosia’s knickers and dragged them over her legs, flinging them behind her. She manoeuvred herself from Zosia and down the bed, spreading her thighs apart. Her glistening folds were so inviting, she desperately wanted to taste her. Without much hesitation, Jac’s mouth met Zosia’s now swollen clit, sucking and licking so wildly.

“Fuck!” Zosia yelled. She couldn’t believe Jac was still working her magic and she was loving every minute. Never had she been with someone who put her needs first in the bedroom. Ollie was okay at sex but Zosia wanted hot, sexy passion and she was finally experiencing this, and with Jac Naylor of all people. She let her growing arousal take over and writhed underneath Jac

“Yes” There, Ahhhh fucccck”

Zosia wasn’t the quietest but Jac took so much pleasure from it, knowing she was the one causing the loud moans and expletives to escape Zosia’s mouth. After working hard on Zosia’s clit, her tongue moved down into her opening where she continued to fuck her.

“I’m so close” Zosia stated, her breathe ragged. She took hold of Jacs head, fingers clasping onto her copper hair and grinded her pussy closer to Jac’s face, needing the friction to bring her over the edge

“AHHHHHHH” Zosia screamed, Jac’s eyes looked up and saw Zosia coming undone for the second time in a matter of minutes. It was a sight that she wasn’t going to forget, she would remember this moment forever.

She got up from inbetween Zosia and went to wipe the wetness from her mouth and chin when Zosia grabbed her arm. She pulled Jac on top of her and guided her hair behind her ear so she could see the older woman’s face more clearly.

“Let me” she seductively whispered, her breathing still ragged as she lapped up her own wetness

“Mmmmm, tastes good” hummed Zosia.

That was the hottest thing Jac had seen, a fresh wave of arousal washed over her “You’re so fucking sexy Zosia”

“And your so fucking magnificent” she replied. I have never ever cum like that before” she truthfully admitted. “I want to do the same to you…but” Zosia hesitated.

“But what asked Jac” she was worried what Zosia was going to say next

“I’ve never been with another woman before, what if I can’t…you know…make you cum?”

Jac looked at Zosia sweetly, gave her a reassuring kiss, and guided Zosia’s hand to the outside of her underwear

“I don’t think that’s possible, you have made me this wet without even touching me yet”

Zosia look at Jac wide eyed, she was so turned by what she felt between Jac’s legs that her nerves drifted away. She sat up and positioned herself so Jac was now straddling her, he breasts in Zosia’s eye line

“Don’t think we will be needing this” in one swift movement, Zosia had unhooked Jac’s bra and discarded it amongst the rest of the garments scattered over the bedroom floor. She cupped one breast while her mouth worked the other. The sensation of her hot breath sent a shiver through Jac, she was already much better at this than she thought she was. She arched her back, placing one and on the back of Zosia’s head as she started to grind her wetness against Zosia.

“You can’t always be in control Ms Naylor” Zosia joked and with a bit of force lifted Jac up and flipped her on her back. She got up off the bed and leaned down to spread Jac’s legs apart, where she saw a large wet patch that had seeped through her knickers. She eagerly whipped these off and joined Jac back on the bed, cupping her soft shaved pussy, allowing her palm to massage her clit and fingers to caress her opening

“I want to feel you inside me” Jac whispered

Zosia wasn’t meaning to tease, she was trying to explore Jac, seeing what she liked and what turned her on most. She slowly slid two fingers inside Jac, and oh god did it feel good, she instantly found them coated in Jac’s juices. She was trying to be gentle at first not sure how far she could take it but Jac’s bucking hips was an indication that she wanted more. Zosia got into a steady rhythm, thrusting harder and faster.

“Yes Zosia right there!”

Zosia took a chance and added a third finger inside Jac, feeling her stretch Jac’s tight pussy. She angled her wrist so she could get deeper and this caused Jac to lose herself under Zosia.

“Cum for me Jac” and with that Jac clenched around Zosia, twitching and jolting as came back to earth, her juices dripping down the fingers that were still inside her. Zosia felt like she was experiencing what sex should really be like. Being with another woman was just so right and knowing she was the one that caused Jac to cum hard was such a turn on.  

“Are you sure that was your first time, you seemed to know exactly what you were doing” joked Jac. “You were amazing” They gazed at each other before Zosia leaned in for a deep tongue filled kiss, this time with less hunger and more romance and love

“Not sure about you, but I’m quite tired” Jac said, trying to hold back a yawn.

“Time for bed?” asked Zosia “Been quite an eventful day” she smiled

They pulled back the duvet cover and climbed onto the cold crisp sheets, facing each other at first. Jac stroked Zosia’s arm and placed Jac placed a tender kiss on Zosia’s lips

“Goodnight Zosh”

“Night” Zosia slowly turned over and allowed Jac to wrap her arm across her midriff, hugging her close as they both drifted off to sleep


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The morning after the night before - This chapter ties off the previous night and sets up their day in London together. Again let me know what you think :)
> 
> Warning - Mature Rating

The early morning sun started to rise and Jac watched the light pour through the room between the gap in the curtains. She had been awake a while, the previous night fresh on her mind. It could have gone such a different way, but Zosia reciprocated her advances and more, she had been feeling something too, Rebecca was right. However the harsh reality of the weekend coming to an end, returning to Holby, back to an empty bed, the usual routine and seeing Zosia with Valentine started to kick in.

With her brain going into overdrive, she decided to get ready for the day ahead. She promised Zosia a tour of London and that was what she was going to give her.

Jac slipped out of bed, trying not to wake Zosia and headed to the plush ensuite. She turned on the shower and stepped in allowing the waterfall like drops to pour over her hair and down her body.

Meanwhile, back in the room Zosia was slowly waking up, bleary eyed she turned over and reached out for Jac, but there was nothing, just an empty space. There was a moment of panic that washed over her, what if last night had been a mistake, what if Jac had just been drunk and regretted it this morning. It was only then that she noticed the sound of running water and steam escaping from the bottom of the bathroom door. She smiled to herself, Jac hadn’t vanished in the middle of the night, she was still there, still in Zosia’s room.

“Room for one more?”

Jac jumped, she didn’t hear the bathroom door open or close. She peered around the misted glass shower screen and saw Zosia standing there in all her glory. Jac thought it was impossible to look that good in the morning, but Zosia managed to pull of smudged smokey eye make up and tousled hair rather well.

“I’m sure we can manage” smirked Jac

She watched Zosia seductively stride over and step in to the shower, their bodies close but not quite touching. Zosia looked down and admired Jac’s wet body lathered in soap suds. It was such a turn on, she wanted her right there and then.

“Well, good morning Dr March” Jac played it cool but so desperately wanted to grab Zosia and pull her in for a searing kiss. Turns out Zosia wasn’t one for holding back, she must have read Jac’s mind as she pressed their lips together for a passion fuelled exchange.

“Hmmm it is isn’t it” she smiled

Just as Jac was about to respond Zosia stopped her by planting another tongued filled kiss onto her soft wet lips, but this wasn’t enough for her. She wanted to taste more of Jac.

Zosia peppered kisses down Jac’s body, stopping at her breasts where she licked and sucked her rosy hardened nipples, paying close attention to the effect this was having on Jac, she noticed last night how much she enjoyed it. Zosia, now on her knees, continued her journey  down to Jac’s inner thigh. She felt Jac’s hand on the top of her head, stroking delicately.

“Zosia?” Jac whispered.

She looked up with her lust driven eyes

“You don’t have to do this if you’re not ready.”

Seeing the compassionate side of Jac flourish, only spurred Zosia on. She took hold the hand that was placed on her hand, “I want to” she replied

It was true Zosia did want to. She wanted to experience this, even more so after last night. Seeing the way Jac fell apart beneath her was breath taking, addictive even. She wanted to hear her moan, shout her name, squirm and shudder. Zosia wanted to be in control knowing she could make Jac Naylor cum.

She brought one hand up to Jac’s centre, parting the top of her pussy with her index and middle finger to expose her enlarged clit. With her eyes firmly on Jac’s she took one large sweep of her tongue, the sensation causing Jac to jolt. Giving Jac more stability, she pushed her gently towards the shower wall, grabbing onto both cheeks while she returned to her destination. With a few more licks and sucks Zosia found her technique, quickly picking up on what turned Jac on. She couldn’t get enough of her, she never thought she would enjoy eating out another women so much, but everything about it was so hot.

Jac’s moans were getting louder and more frequent, her eyes were shut and her hands busy groping her own breasts. Zosia knew she was close but she really wanted her to cum hard. She momentarily slowed down her tongue and picked up one of Jac’s legs, resting it on her shoulder so she had better access. She guided two fingers into her soaked core, pumping furiously while her tongue returned back to its steady rhythm.

With moments Jac was calling out, “Ahhhhhhhh Zosia, I’m cumming, I’m cumming”

Zosia didn’t need to be told, she could feel Jac’s orgasm from the gush of wetness that was now layered over her slowing fingers. Jac opened her eyes and looked down to see Zosia sliding out from inside her. She looked up and saw Jac staring, smiled and brought her hands to her mouth, licking every last sweet tasting bit of Jac up.

“Holy fuck Zosia”

Jac grabbed Zosia from off the floor and pushed her hard against the wall. She took her head with both hands and forced her tongue inside Zosia’s mouth, tasting herself in the frenzy. She knew how wet Zosia would be from the look in her eyes and without any warning thrusted two fingers inside of her

It took Zosia by surprise, but she wasn’t complaining, in fact she couldn’t get enough.

“More” whispered Zosia as she parted from Jac’s lips

Jac smirked into Zosia’s neck and added a third finger inside, all the while her thumb was massaging her clit

“That…..feels…… ahhhhhh……so good” Zosia just about managed to get her words out, she was so lost in the moment, so lost with Jac

She was getting close already, she wanted to make it last longer but was struggling to hold back. Her hands were now wrapped around Jac, fingernails imprinted in her back while she was being fucked hard. Jac could feel Zosia’s heartbeat increase as their bodies were pressed together, she knew she would be done after a few more thrusts.

“Ahhhhhhh fucccccccckkkkkk” Zosia yelled. The whole floor must have heard her, as her pleasured echoed in the bathroom. Jac smiled to herself, if only her colleagues on Darwin could what they were getting up to

Zosia’s hands retracted from Jac’s back, she hadn’t quite realised until then how rough she must have been

“Shit, sorry” Zosia said a little embarrassed

“Don’t be, I quite enjoyed it” winked Jac. She picked her the shampoo and started washing her hair as if nothing had happened

She looked over at Zosia who was still leaning up against the wall trying to steady herself

“I guess if you still want me to give you the full tour, of London that is, we should probably use the shower for its actual purpose” Jac joked

Zosia gave a little chuckle “Oh I don’t know, think what we used it for was much more fun. Pass me the soap then” she smiled

***************

They had both finished getting ready in their own rooms, making sure they were packed and checked out by 10am. After working up an appetite from their little escapade, they made sure they ate breakfast before heading out. Reception were kind enough to offer to look after their belongings until they had to catch their train that evening, meaning they didn’t have to trail around London lugging suitcases everywhere

“So where shall we go first” asked an excited Zosia

Jac gave nothing away and instead touched her nose with her finger, gesturing it was a secret. What Zosia didn’t know is that Jac had the whole day meticulously planned. She had arranged for them both to go on an open bus tour followed by a river cruise and lastly on the London eye in their own private pod. She had booked the tickets as soon as she settled into her room, wanting to spend their last day together in the best way possible.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this took slightly longer to write than usual. I'm not entirely happy with this chapter but had to post after chopping and changing too much
> 
> As usual, let me know what you think

“What are you doing” Zosia asked Jac

“Waiting”

Zosia was a bit confused. Jac had just stopped walking and was now waiting on the side of the road

“For what”?

“That” Jac pointed her finger to the union jack designed bus that was heading their way. She held out her hand to gesture the bus to stop and got the tickets from her pocket.

“Are we going on that” smiled Zosia

Jac jokingly rolled her eyes “No, just thought I would wave at the pretty bus”

Zosia chuckled, she was probably one of the very few people that enjoyed Jac’s sarcastic sense of humour.

“That’s a shame, I think I would have enjoyed going on that, best way to see London apparently” smirked Zosia

“I guess these may come in handy then” Jac said as she waved the tickets in front of her

Zosia responded with a hug, which Jac welcomed. She wasn’t usually one for physical contact, especially not in public, but happily accepted from her. Zosia pulled away, holding Jac round the waist and smiled widely, gazing into her eyes

“This was so thoughtful Jac, thank you”

Zosia contemplated kissing her right there and then, but wasn’t sure how that would go down. Even after everything that had happened between them in the last 24hrs, Zosia didn’t know where she stood. She didn’t want Jac to feel uncomfortable, she knew how guarded and closed off she was. She would wait for Jac to make the next move.

“Ticket please” said the tour guide

Jac realised she was being spoken to and quickly pushed Zosia’s hand away from her body and handed the tickets over to the smartly dressed gentleman. She wasn’t sure why, just an instant reaction. She noticed the look in Zosia’s face and instantly felt guilty, she hadn’t meant to make her feel like she had done something wrong.

“Sorry Zosh, after you”

Zosia gave her half a smile and stepped onto the bus, making her way up the stairs to the top deck. Jac used this opportunity to have a quick stare at Zosia’s arse. She had worn dark blue skinny jeans and these really highlighted her best feature. She couldn’t stop looking and thinking about how amazing sex had been with her.

“This ok?” asked Zosia. She had found two spare seats next to each other at the back of the bus

“Perfect” smiled Jac 

Zosia sat down, close to the edge of the bus, leaving a gap between them, which Jac picked up on. She had guessed it was due to her reaction downstairs, and wanted to assure Zosia that she hadn’t meant it. She placed her hand over her knee and leaned over to whisper in Zosia’s ear

“I hope you enjoy this”

Zosia turned to see Jac smiling at her. She wasn’t sure if Jac was talking about the bus of the way she was now stroking her leg.

“Yes, can’t wait to see the famous sights” Zosia thought it would be better to acknowledge the tour rather than the physical contact she was receiving.

They sat back, and listened to the tour guide as they passed Hyde Park, the Albert Hall and the Natural History Museum. Jac wasn’t really paying much attention to what was going on around her, she couldn’t. She was far too distracted by Zosia. She looked so excited, like a small child on Christmas morning. The worry and sadness that Zosia had been displaying over the last few weeks looked as though it had momentarily disappeared. Zosia didn’t pick up that Jac had been staring at her most of the way round London, she was too busy taking pictures. She loved London, she found it so beautiful and historic. If she accepted the placement, this would be home for the next few months, something that sounded quite appealing. The only downside would be leaving Holby, which meant leaving Darwin, her friends, Olllie and Jac.

“Can we get off here”? asked Zosia?

“Of course, if you want to” smiled Jac

The bus had stopped at Trafalgar square where quite a few others got off. It was quite a popular tourist attraction in London, which was highlighted by how many people were there.

“Can you take a picture please” Zosia asked one of the other passengers

“I can do that Zosia” said Jac

“Well that might be a bit tricky seeing as you’re going to be in the picture with me” smiled Zosia, holding out her hand to lead Jac over the fountains.

Just as the lady was about to take the picture Jac slid her hand around Zosia’s waist. Zosia smiled towards the camera and then to Jac, who was smiling back at her

“That last one was perfect, what a lovely couple you are” the elderly lady stated as she handed Zosia’s phone back to her. Neither one corrected her, just said thank you and admired the picture. They could both see why the lady had said that, they looked close, closer than friends and so happy with each other,

“Maybe don’t show that last one around” said Jac. Not that she didn’t like the picture, she did, it just wouldn’t be appropriate for anyone else to see it

“Why not, I like it. I’m sure everyone on Darwin would love to see the Ice Queen smiling for once” smirked Zosia.

Jac didn’t say anything, she didn’t have to, not when the legendary Naylor stare kicks in

“Its ok, I’m joking. This one will just be for me and you” She smiled.

“Good, now come on, back on the bus plenty more to see” Jac ordered.

They continued their tour soaking up more of the famous sights including St Paul’s Cathedral and the Gherkin before passing the Tower of London.

“Wow, it’s beautiful”

“I agree, it’s actually one of my favourite places in London. If we come here again together, we will have a full tour of it. Just a bit unfortunate we haven’t got time to do it all today” said Jac

“I would love that” smiled Zosia.

The bus went over Tower Bridge and stopped at Tower Pier. Jac got up and went to make her way to the stairs

“Jac, where are you going?”

“Getting off, the tour has finished” replied Jac

“No, they said there are more sights coming up. No one else is getting off”

“Trust me, it’s finished, come on”

Zosia was confused, she had the tour map in front of her. It definitely hadn’t finished, but knowing best not to argue with Jac, she got up and followed her down the stairs and off the bus.

“Right this way”

“Jac where are we going? Zosia asked, trying to keep up with Jac who was marching towards the pier.

Jac looked over her shoulder and cheekily grinned at Zosia, “Hope you don’t suffer from sea sickness”

Zosia twigged when she saw the arrow pointing towards the River cruise, where Jac was heading. She couldn’t believe Jac had planned all this for her. Deep down, past that tough bitchy exterior, she was one of the kindest and thoughtful people she knew. Not many people would have gone out their way to arrange a day just for her. It was only making her feelings stronger. Feelings that she had been trying to suppress for months, not just because she was her boss, but she was meant to be getting married to Ollie. She had never been as confused as she was now

“Zosia come on”

She was pulled from her thoughts and made her way to Jac who was now waiting to board the boat

“You ok, you don’t actually suffer from sea sickness” Jac asked, genuinely worried

“Yes fine, just thinking about how lovely this is”

Jac didn’t seem convinced, it looked like Zosia had something on her mind. She wasn’t going to press her though, she didn’t want to ruin a good day.

The river cruise was wonderful, even Jac enjoyed it. She had been to London lots of times before, but never along the Thames. It was even better than expected, especially with Zosia by her side.  

“Jac, I really don’t know how to thank you. This has been such a good day” Zosia took hold of Jac’s hand and went to place a kiss on her cheek, but Jac turned her head and their lips met for a delicate kiss.

“You’re welcome, but I have one more surprise for you” smiled Jac, not letting go off Zosia’s hand.

The boat passed The Shard, City Hall, Tate Modern and the London eye, before stopping in front of the Houses of Parliament and Big Ben. Jac pulled Zosia up, headed off the boat and walked over Westminster Bridge. Zosia had a sneaky suspicion where they were going as they walked along the Southbank towards the giant wheel.

“I promise this is the last stop, I couldn’t resist. I’ve been on it before and it’s incredible. Being such a nice day you should be able to see the whole of London up there” smiled Jac

“Wow, this is too much. Please let me treat you, you have been so kind all day”

“Too late I’m afraid. Everything is already taken care of”

“Jac!”

“Shut up, I told you, I was in charge of giving you the Jac Naylor tour of London” she smiled and walked up to one of the people working there

“I have a pod booked for 5pm, Ms Naylor”

“All private pods are this way”. The lady pointed to the VIP queue which was pretty much empty apart from another couple in front of them

“You booked us a private pod?! Jac that’s got to have cost a fortune”

“There was no way I was going to share a tiny pod with random people”

Zosia chuckled, she found it so funny how Jac was in a job that meant helping others get better but hated interacting with people so much. She was so different to anyone that she had ever come across, but that was one of the reasons Zosia liked her so much

They didn’t have to wait long until they were being ushered inside the oval glass capsule. It was actually much bigger than it looked, not at all claustrophobic which initially worried Zosia. The doors shut behind them and it slowly started to make its rotation

It wasn’t until Zosia noticed the bottle of Champagne sticking out the ice bucket, next to two glasses that she realised just how far Jac had gone to make her day extra special. She was screaming with glee inside, all day she had been holding back but it was killing her. If she had to wait any longer to get hold of Jac she would burst. She pulled her in by the wrist and gave her a passion fuelled kiss. Jac instantly responded slipping her tongue into Zosia’s mouth, grabbing her long brown locks in the process.

“I’ve been wanting to do this all day” stated Zosia

“Why wait until now?” asked Jac, finally relived that Zosia had made a move on her

“I wasn’t sure how you felt”

“Zosia, I think I made my feelings quite clear last night”

“I know, but that was just the two of us, in a room out the way prying eyes. I wouldn’t have thought PDA’s were up your street, especially after this morning”

“I’m sorry about that, not sure what happened. I panicked I guess, I’m not used to being on the receiving end of affection. I feel different with you Zosia, after today I don’t care who sees us”

Zosia smiled at this, knowing she was the one softening Jac and allowing her to let her guard down. Jac stroked her cheek softly with her finger

“As much as I would like to carry on kissing you, there is champagne to be drunk and views to be appreciated” Joked Jac

Zosia hummed in delight, poured a drink for both of them and walked towards the edge of the pod overlooking the river. Jac was right, the views were incredible and the sun slowly setting created the most picture perfect moment. She felt Jac slip her hand around her waist and over her tummy, leaning her chin on her shoulder

“Beautiful isn’t it” Jac asked

“Stunning” replied Zosia

They stayed like that for ages, holding each other close, enjoying the glorious views below them. They both didn’t want to let the other go, they were so content, so relaxed. For a few moments they actually felt like a couple, a feeling that Jac could get used to

“What happens when we get back home” asked Jac. By that, she really meant, are you going to stay with Ollie

There was a long awkward pause, Jac didn’t want to pressure Zosia but she wanted to know where she stood. She wasn’t one to be strung along

“I don’t know Jac, after this weekend my head is all over the place. The reality of what has happened between us has surpassed all those months of imagining what it would be like with you”

Jac was shocked. She hadn’t realised that Zosia had even reciprocated any feelings before this weekend, let alone been hiding them

“You mean, you have liked me all along, all this time?”

“Yes, did you not know? I was so infatuated with you when I first started…not in that way but I admired everything about you. You were the best surgeon I had ever worked with and I inspired to be like you. It was only when we worked more closely together and I got to know you, that I liked you, really liked you. I tried to talk myself out of it but every time I was with you, I turned into a babbling mess”

“I thought that was just you” Jac smiled

“Haha no unfortunately that was me trying to make a good impression on you but failing miserably. Then Ollie came along and we were flirting and he grew on me. He was a good distraction, things progressed and I started to make myself forget about anything ever happening with you. I told myself that you were a crush and nothing more.”

Jac listened on intently. She wished she had known all this earlier, wished that Zosia had made a pass at her, made her feelings known. She wouldn’t have ended up with Ollie and be planning on starting a new life as Mrs Valentine.

“Zosia, I’m sorry. If I wasn’t such a bitch, maybe you would have felt better about approaching me”. Jac was genuinely gutted.

“It wouldn’t have made a difference, you were my boss and I would have never crossed that boundary. I’m just glad we got to enjoy this weekend together, it’s the happiest I’ve felt in such a long time” beamed Zosia

“Me too Zosh, it couldn’t have been more perfect” she leaned in to delicately place another kiss on Zosia. She hadn’t exactly answered Jac on what happens next, but she didn’t care at that moment. All she wanted was to feel Zosia’s lips on hers, hold her close and enjoy watching the sun set over the city.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a shorter chapter to tie off the weekend. More to come soon :)
> 
> Thanks for reading x

“Shit, come on Zosia”

The pair were running through the busy station, trying to get to the platform in order to catch their train back to Holby. They had been too busy basking in each other’s company to notice that they had less than an hour to head back to the hotel to get their suitcases and get on the 7.15pm train. Usually Jac would have been clock watching, she was always so prompt and punctual, but all sense of time was lost when she was with Zosia.

“I can’t go any faster!”

“Shit! I didn’t even check the platform. Can you see it on the board?” Asked Jac, who was now very flustered.

“I already checked in the cab, platform 4. Over there” Zosia pointed to the stationery train, waiting to depart.

They had just made it on board before the doors closed and the driver welcomed the passengers. They found their seats, again they were in the first class carriage, however this time they were sat next to each other. Jac slumped down, followed by Zosia, both trying to catch their breath after sprinting through Victoria station.

“Well, that wasn’t stressful was it?” asked Zosia sarcastically whilst taking her coat off.

“No, I love going for an evening jog” replied Jac

They both sniggered and tried to get comfy for their journey home

_Bzzzzz Bzzzzz_

Jac took her phone out her bag

“Nope, not mine, must have been yours that went off”

Zosia checked her phone and saw that she had 1 new message. She gave out a small sigh when she saw who it was from

_Zoshh, just wondered where you are. I expected you to be home by now. I’m sorry for everything, hope you had a good time in London. When are you back? I love you x_

“Everything ok?” Asked Jac

“Yes fine” Zosia lied as she began texting Ollie back

_Sorry, everything is fine. Just thought we would make the most of London. On the train now, should get in about 9.30ish. See you at home x_

Zosia pressed send on the message and put her phone back in her bag. She hadn’t really acknowledged the apology or said she loved him back. How could she, when she had been in bed with the woman sitting next to her the night before. She let out a big yawn, the long eventful day had finally caught up on her

“Oh, I’m so tired” said Zosia

“Have a nap. I’ve got some emails to catch up on anyway, so I’ll make sure we don’t miss our stop”

“You sure” Asked Zosia “Not going to get bored without me chatting away?”

“Think I will enjoy the peace and quiet if I’m honest” smirked Jac

Zosia tutted and gave Jac a playful push, “Yeah yeah, whatever”

It wasn’t long before Zosia’s head was heavily resting on Jac’s shoulder, letting out tiny little snores which were actually quite sweet. Jac couldn’t concentrate on anything apart from the sleeping beauty next to her. She placed her phone on the table, lifted her right arm up and around Zosia and brought her in for a warm embrace, trying not to wake her up in the process. She placed a delicate kiss on her forehead and rested her own head back on the seat, relishing in feeling of being close to Zosia once more.

 

“Zosh, Zosia” whispered Jac as she gently rubbed her arm. “We are about 5 minutes from home”

“Already? How long have I been asleep?”

“Only about 2hrs” smiled Jac

Zosia rubbed her eyes, trying to gather her surroundings and wake herself up

“I’m sorry, you should have woke me earlier”

“No need, I was busy catching up on work” Jac lied. She didn’t want Zosia to know that she was practically watching her for the whole journey, it would have looked very strange and overly clingy. Something that Jac Naylor didn’t want to be perceived of.

The train came to a stop and they gathered their belongings, got off the trained and headed for the exit.

“Want to grab a cab together?” asked Jac. She didn’t really like the thought of Zosia in a car by herself with a stranger

“Errr don’t think I can”

“Why?” Asked Jac. She looked over to Zosia who was staring wide eyed

Jac turned her head to match Zosia’s view, her heart sunk. There was Oliver Valentine, dressed in a scruffy hoody and a pair of jeans, holding what appeared to be a last minute petrol garage bunch of flowers

“Ollie, what are you doing here?”

“Well I thought I would pick you up, didn’t want you getting a cab by yourself this late at night” he replied

“She wasn’t. I wouldn’t have let her” replied Jac bluntly

Oliver didn’t respond, simply glared at Jac then returned his focus towards Zosia

“These are for you” He handed the flowers over to Zosia who hesitantly took them from him. “I think we need to talk, come on, let’s go home” He took the bag off his fiancé and walked over to the car

“What about Jac?” Asked Zosia

“I’m fine honestly, I’ll call a cab”

“No, don’t be silly, we can give you a lift”

Jac lowered her voice so Ollie wouldn’t be able to hear her

“I don’t think that’s the best idea Zosia, I would rather make my own way home, but thank you”

Zosia looked at her, unsure of what to do next. There was a long pause, both retaining their unbroken eye contact

“Zosia are you coming?” Asked Ollie who had now opened the driver door of his car

“Errr yes”

“Goodnight Zosia” Jac tried to smile but gave a very feeble attempt.

“Night Jac” Zosia went in for a hug and whispered in her ear, “Thank you again for everything. I honestly had the most amazing time”. She didn’t even care that Ollie would be watching, she wanted Jac to know she truly enjoyed every moment she had spent with her.

Jac walked back towards the station, watching on as Ollie and Zosia drove off together. There was a bout of jealously growing inside of her, knowing that she was going home with Valentine, sharing a bed with him, kissing him, fucking him. She hated it being like this but couldn’t shake her thoughts. What had that girl turned her into?

 

 “What was that about” asked Ollie

“What?”

“That. You hugging Naylor. Didn’t realise you were best friends” The was a bitter, sarcastic tone to his voice

“We’re not, we just had a good weekend. Got to know each other a bit better that’s all”. That was an understatement thought Zosia. She had gotten to know every part of Jac Naylor very well and loved every second of it. Just thinking about it got Zosia a little flustered

“Sounds really great” replied Ollie

There were very few words spoken between the couple until they pulled up outside their home. Ollie turned the key in the ignition and sat with both hands on the steering wheel

 “Look, Zosh, I’m sorry for pushing you away. I know this is hard for you to hear but I loved Tara and seeing those scans again just made all the memories and feelings flood back. Knowing that a different procedure or surgeon would have made a difference knocked me for six.”

“Ollie I get it, honestly I do but you have to let her go. It was awful was happened to Tara, especially when she was so young, but nothing you do or say now can make a difference. I will not be second best to anyone, I don’t deserve to be treated that way. I need to know that I’m not living in someone else’s shadow”

“Zosia, I have never seen you as second best, ever. I love you for you, I would never want you to be anything else” and with that took hold of Zosia and kissed her with all his might

Zosia responded but something didn’t feel right, it didn’t make her giddy with excitement or lust. Instead of soft, warm, passionate lips, sweet smelling skin and long red flowing hair, she was met with stubble, a wet frantic tongue and musty aftershave. She shut her eyes, wishing, imaging that the person opposite was Jac. She couldn’t help it, she had never wanted to betray Ollie but nothing came close to what she had experienced in the hotel room with her.

“Shall we take this inside rather than giving the neighbours a show” asked an eager Ollie

Zosia didn’t speak, just nodded and followed him to the front door. Once inside, Ollie kissed her again, taking off both their clothes rather hastily. He picked her up and took her to the bedroom, laying her down on the bed

“I just want to make love to you Zosia”

But it wasn’t making love, not in the slightest. There was no touching or groping, no foreplay, instead just straight forward vanilla sex. It was all about Ollie satisfying his needs, making sure he came. After about 10 minutes of hard missionary thrusting it was over and done with. Zosia hadn’t felt a thing, nothing was gained from their “love making” apart from her wishing it to be over.  Ollie kissed her lips once more, rolled over and went to sleep, snoring loudly. Zosia tried to get some sleep but couldn’t. There was a million and one things swirling round her brain, mostly centring around the woman that she was sharing her bed with less than 24 hours ago.

She slipped out of the bedroom, grabbing her phone from her bag

_I can’t stop thinking about our time together, I need to see you Z xx_


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for all your kind comments :)
> 
> There is still plenty more to come for these two!

On the other side of town, Jac was back home, alone in her cold empty bed, tossing and turning. She so desperately wanted to sleep, but her own mind wouldn’t let her. She was playing out every scenario that could be happening in the March/Valentine household. With the silence becoming more deafening with every passing minute, she got up and headed downstairs to the kitchen to make herself a hot drink. Surely a warm cup of Chamomile would help.

She couldn’t remember feeling like this, never before had anyone had such a strong effect on her. The desire she felt for Zosia was so overwhelming, it scared her. The vibration on the breakfast bar pulled her out of the trance like state she was in as she continuously stirred the teabag around the cup.

She peered over at her phone and saw Zosia’s name on the screen. She took a long inward breath, expecting the worst, her and Ollie have sorted everything out and are going ahead of the wedding, their weekend was a mistake and she was sorry for leading her on etc. However when she read the message it was the complete opposite

“She can’t stop thinking about us” Jac whispered to herself

Jac had to read the message again just to make sure she hadn’t made a mistake first time round, but she was right. Zosia had really said she couldn’t stop thinking about them. Jac’s stomach started to flutter, the result of a mixture of nerves and excitement. Did this mean she had broken things off with Ollie, realised she was settling rather than being with someone she truly loves?

With eager fingers she texted back her reply

_Me either, I take it that’s the reason you’re still awake too. What happened with Ollie xx_

A minute later another message came through.

_He apologised and I genuinely believe he is sorry, but something has changed between us. I feel so guilty, I don’t want to hurt him. I think we need to talk xx_

_**********************************************_

_You will be hurting him more in the long run if you don’t feel the same Zosia. It will be harder for you both if you leave it too late. Let’s both get some sleep and speak tomorrow xx_

_**********************************************_

_I know you’re right, but that will be easier said than done. Yes good idea, night night xx_

_**********************************************_

_Night Zosia xx_

 

Jac’s eyelids were becoming heavier, either the tea was having the desired effect or her mind was at ease after the text from Zosia. Either way she headed back up to bed, knowing she had to get some sleep before the start of her shift in four hours.

******************************************************

The lift doors opened and Jac’s heels clacked down the corridor of Darwin. As she turned the corner, the nurse’s station came into view where she saw Zosia typing away on one of the computers. Even with her hair scraped back in a bun, barely any make up on and dressed in hospital scrubs, she was the most beautiful woman that Jac had ever seen. Her stomach started to flutter again, but with a deep breath she continued her strut towards the consultant’s office, her eyes never leaving Zosia

 “Dr March, my office now”

“Ooooo what have you done to upset the boss, she doesn’t look happy” joked Matteo

Zosia pretended to look worried to her colleagues and followed Jac into the office. The door slammed shut and the rest of the Darwin staff were left wondering exactly what Zosia had done wrong.

“Well that was rather convincing”

“How do you know you’re not in trouble Dr March” Jac asked, trying to be serious

Zosia pulled Jac in by the waist of her coat

“If I am, what can I do to make up for it” whispered Zosia

Jac’s eyes sparkled, she loved it when Zosia teased her like this. It happened on the night in the hotel room, Zosia smooth, seductive voice causing her whole body to tingle.

“I’m sure I’ll think of something”

They both smiled before ferociously descending on each other’s lips. Jac was sure that every kiss with Zosia was better than the last, their desire and chemistry becoming more intense with every touch. Zosia had her fingers tangled in Jac’s copper mane, pulling her in for more tongue filled pleasure, to which Jac happily obliged. She didn’t have Zosia down as the dominate type, but she loved the younger woman taking control, in fact she found it an incredible turn on.

Zosia was the first to break the kiss, her teeth nipping on Jac’s bottom lip as she did so

“I have been waiting all morning to do that”

Jac just beamed, she couldn’t help it. Everything about Zosia made her so happy and she didn’t want to hide it. She was lucky enough that this was happening after concealing her feelings for so long.

“Was it worth the wait?” Jac smirked, knowing full well of the answer

Zosia just hummed and went in for another kiss, her hand reaching in between Jac’s thighs.

“Zosia” spoke Jac softly

Zosia gazed up with her big brown lust filled eyes

“As much as I want to, we can’t, not here. Not at work where anyone can come bounding in. Plus we need to talk, we have got to acknowledge whatever this is”

Zosia removed her hand and placed it around Jac’s waist, letting out a deep sigh

“I don’t know”

Jac looked at her confused, “What do you mean?”

“Well I don’t know what this is. What I do know is that I like you and after last night, I know things aren’t right between Ollie and me”

“Last night?” Asked Jac

“Yes, we erm..”

There was a slight pause, Jac watching Zosia as she waited for her to finish her sentence

“We erm…well we had sex but….

Jac kept the same facial expression, but could feel the jealously pouring out of every part of her. Her worst fear had happened.

“But what” she snapped

“The whole time I was imagining it was you. I closed my eyes picturing you, wanting to feel your soft skin on top of mine, your long hair tickling my face as you kissed me, your fingers caressing every part of my body. Everything just felt so right when I was with you, it made me realise that maybe Ollie isn’t who I’m supposed to be spending the rest of my life with”

Jac went to speak but no words came out. She was totally taken back by what Zosia had just said

“Even if this is just sex, I know I can’t be with him”. Zosia was saddened by the realisation of what she was saying. She cared very deeply about Ollie, but knew what she was doing wasn’t right. She had to make a decision, she had to do what was best for her.

“Zosia, I want something to come out of this. I would have never put myself out there the other night if this was only ever about sex”

What had started off as a passionate reunion between the pair, had quickly turned into a heart filled exchange.

“I know and neither would I. I wouldn’t have risked my whole relationship and be standing here right now”

“So now what?” Asked Jac. She could see Zosia’s mind going into overdrive

“I need to speak with Ollie and then maybe get away for a bit. It won’t do him or me any good if we have to face each other every day”

“Get away? What are you saying Zosia”

“Well ever since we spoke about the placement in London it’s been on my mind, it’s a big decision, but I think it’s a sign. Maybe it’s the right time for me to move away for a few months, away from Ollie. It will be best for everyone”

“Everyone? Really? I don’t think it will be good for me” Jac stated, her voice shaky by the thought of Zosia leaving. “I have just put myself out there, practically admitting I want you and you respond by running away”

Jac was trying to hold back the hurt in her voice. This is why she didn’t do relationships, why her guard was up at all times. The fear of rejection had shaped who she was, it happened once with her own mother and vowed it would never happen again. And yet here she was, letting her feelings be known and having them thrown back in her face.

 “I am not running away, I’m grabbing the most amazing opportunity by both hands and seeing what will come of it. I have just said I like you too, I want to see what could happen, but I can’t do that straight after Ollie. It’s not fair on him”

“And sleeping behind his back is?” Jac snapped

“No I’m not saying that. You’re not listening. I just think time apart will help us, make us both see what we truly want. After all absence makes the heart grow fonder”

Jac knew she was being selfish, knew deep down that Zosia was right, but that didn’t stop the fury spilling out of her mouth

“Oh wow, what’s your name Bernie? I guess that makes me Serena, although I won’t beg you to stay in front of the whole ward. In fact I won’t beg you to stay at all. If you want to sod off to London, be a coward, then go!

Zosia was crushed, she couldn’t believe Jac was being so cold and heartless. She truly thought she would understand and be there for her. Her bottom lip started to quiver.

“Jac, why are you being like this?” Zosia asked, the sadness evident in her voice.

“Because I will not be told what is best for me. You really think you know me enough to make a decision for “US”?”

“I just have Jac”

Jac didn’t respond, she couldn’t. Instead she watched Zosia walk out the office shutting the door behind her. Everything had happened so quickly, one minute they were all over each other, the next, nothing. Jac stood in the same spot, letting her emotions escape in the form of falling tears.


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoy
> 
> Keep the comments coming, I love to hear what you all think x

Zosia walked onto Darwin for her last shift. It had been the most awful 5 weeks and she couldn’t wait to get away from everything.  Things with Ollie had reached its peak over another argument and she finally revealed her true feelings. She couldn’t take it any longer, she had to tell him that she couldn’t marry him. Unsurprisingly he was devastated, begged her not to leave but she couldn’t do it. She couldn’t be with someone if her heart wasn’t in it, it wasn’t fair on Ollie or her. Her affections belonged to someone else, but she couldn’t tell him that, she didn’t want to make him feel even worse. Instead she had told him they had grown apart, were more like friends and as crushed as he was, he understood. He didn’t want Zosia to stay with him out of pity. If he was honest with himself, his heart still belonged to Tara, it always has, always will.

Work wasn’t much better with tensions still fraught with Jac. They had barely uttered a word to each other and if they did it was not out of choice. It was only if Zosia needed a second opinion or forms being signed that she approached Jac and even that was awkward. There would be no eye contact, no friendliness, nothing. Out of everyone, Matteo was the only one to pick up on something being wrong between the pair. He had pressed Zosia but she wasn’t giving anything away, he even attempted to coax Jac which resulted in him being slung of her office.  

“Good morning Dr March” smiled Matteo “Last day”

“Mmmm good morning”

“Well, you must be excited, no? A fantastic opportunity like this”

“No, I am, I am” said Zosia unenthusiastically, as she picked up a stack of patient files and made her rounds.

Matteo watched on, he could tell she wasn’t herself. He knew about the breakup with Ollie but this started before that. It was ever since Zosia had been summoned into Jac’s office. Even if he wasn’t going to get to the bottom of it, he would try and help sort things for the pair.

“Doctor March” Matteo had followed Zosia to one of the patient’s beds

“I have just had a call and need to deal with something urgently. I’m meant to be assisting in theatre with Ms Naylor, you wouldn’t be able to step in would you”

Zosia’s face dropped, she couldn’t think of anything worse. She had managed to escape theatre with Jac for the last few weeks, probably down to her shifts and Jac organising the theatre slots. She really didn’t want this on her last day

“I ummm…I’m really busy this morning. Can’t someone else help?” Zosia asked

“No, there is no one else, I really appreciate it”

“Errr, does Jac, I mean Ms Naylor know” asked Zosia as Matteo walked away from her

“Yes, yes, of course”. That wasn’t quite true though, she didn’t know but she would eventually. In about an hours’ time when they should be in surgery

**************

Jac eventually came out of her and office and saw Zosia sitting at the nurse’s station. Trust it to be her, where was everyone else

“Have you seen Matteo, he’s meant to be assisting in 5 minutes” came the stern, moody voice

Zosia turned around to see Jac standing in her scrubs, hair scraped back and arms folded. Even with everything that had happened, she couldn’t help that warm feeling in her gut when she saw the pretty surgeon. She had so wished she could do over their last conversation.

“Errr he said he had spoken to you?”

Jac just shrugged her shoulders and raised her eyebrows

“He had to leave, something urgent came up. He asked if I could step in”

Jac didn’t look impressed, in fact she raging. Zosia wasn’t sure if that was due to Matteo or that they had to work together. Either way, the next few hours weren’t going to be fun.

“Well, don’t just sit there. You need to get in theatre now” fumed Jac

Zosia followed behind Jac like a naughty school girl. There were no words exchanged between them on the way down to theatre, or in the scrub room. This was the same throughout the surgery too. Jac only spoke when she needed to and even that was strained. Usually the conversation flowed between them, talking about anything and everything, but not today. Even their colleagues picked up on the frosty atmosphere, noting a shift between the pair. However their undeniable chemistry shone through with their ability to perform well under pressure together, working seamlessly on the patient, even though it was touch and go at times.

“Ok patient is stable, time to close up” said Jac as she started stitching with her skilled fingers. Zosia watched on in awe, she was still taken back every time she watched Jac work. It the one of the very first things that drew Zosia in. It made her realise how much she would miss this, she had to make one last attempt with Jac before she went away, otherwise she would regret it for the next 10 months.

Back in the scrub room, they were cleaning temselves up, with just the sound of running water pouring into the stainless steel sink. That was until Zosia made her move,

“I don’t know if you heard, but Ollie and I broke up. I called off the wedding, told him I couldn’t be with him, that we had grown apart”

There was a long pause, Jac didn’t react, she continued to scrub her hands and nails

“What do you want me to say Zosia?”

“I…I just wanted you to know”

“Well congratulations for growing some balls Zosia, it’s about time you stopping stringing Valentine along” sniped Jac

“I wasn’t stringing him along and you know it. I care about Ollie, we just...we weren’t right for each other”

Jac desperately wanted to turn and reach for Zoisa, she could hear the hurt in her voice, but unfortunately the stubbornness in her made its appearance and instead, she dried her hands and went to turn away from the younger woman. She felt Zosia’s cold, wet fingers grip her wrist

“Please Jac, I don’t want to leave like this. These last few weeks have been torture”

Jac didn’t look back, didn’t see the sadness in Zosia’a eyes. She pulled away from her and walked out of theatre, leaving a rejected Zosia, alone once again

*******************************

“Well I guess it’s goodbye from me. It’s been a pleasure, hopefully I will see you all very soon” Zosia tried to hold back the tears, she didn’t want to start getting all emotional now.

All the Darwin staff gathered to wish her luck, there were lots of hugs and kisses being exchanged. Everyone liked Zosia and they were all sad to be losing her even if it was for a short time. There was only one person missing, but that was hardly a surprise. Instead of Jac being gathered with the rest of the crowd, she lingered by one of the patient’s bed, watching afar so no one would notice her

“What time you heading off?” Matteo asked

Zosia looked at her watch, “Train is in an hour. Got to say goodbye to Dom first, then I’ll make my way to the station”

“You will be brilliant” Matteo stated as he gave her a warm embrace and a kiss on the cheek

Zosia said her final farewells and scanned the ward one last time, hoping to see a flash of red hair. Nothing. Disappointed, she headed off the ward, first to find Dom, then to catch her cab. Matteo saw Zosia’s face before she left, saw her searching and put two and two together.

He marched off to the consultant’s office where Jac had now retreated.

“Where were you?” he asked, flinging the door open

“Oh don’t mind me, just barge in my office! I could ask you the same question Mr Rossini. You were meant to be in theatre with me today” Jac was angry, her ice cold glare and flaring nostrils were always a give away

“Never mind me, what about Zosia?”

“What about Zosia” Jac naively asked

“You know what Jac. I have seen the both of you together, I’m not stupid. I notice things”

Jac just gawped at him, that’s twice she had been caught out, first with Rebecca, now Matteo. She thought she was good at hiding her feelings, obviously not.

“You cannot leave things like this Jac, go after her”

“I don’t know what you are talking about. You have no business getting involved in me or my staff. I suggest you keep your opinions and thoughts to yourself and get the hell out my sight”

Matteo was one of very few people that wasn’t intimidated by Jac. He respected her as his boss of course, but he could see Jac’s behaviour was her own personal body guard, her defensive mechanism.

“You will regret it Jac”

“GET OUT”

He knew he had done as much as he could, so he listened to Jac and left her alone. Alone in the office stewing on his words. She hated to admit it, but the Italian was right, she did regret it. She wanted to scoop Zosia up in her arms, tell her everything was going to be ok. She wanted to tell her how sorry she was for everything she had said, for the way she had treated her. Jac had really blown it, the only thing she could do now was apologise, but Zosia would already be on her way to the station. It was too late, wasn’t it?


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the delay in updating, hope you all like it! x

“Pick up, pick up” pleaded Jac as she spoke to a continuous ringing

This was the third time she had tried calling Zosia. Either she didn’t realise her phone was going off, or the more likely reason, she was ignoring her. If she wasn’t going to get through to Zosia this way, she had to execute plan B

“Rossini!” Jac summoned Matteo from her office.

Matteo walked cautiously over to Jac, she had that look in her eyes, the one that meant avoid Jac at all costs

“I need you in charge of the ward for an hour or so”

“Ok, may I ask why?”

“No” Jac replied bluntly, shutting the office door behind her and

“Her train leaves in...” Matteo paused and held his hand out to check the time. “Oooo 40 minutes. If you leave now, you will make it” Smiled Matteo

Jac stopped dead, turned around and glared at him. He was possibly one of the most annoying men she had ever worked with, yet she couldn’t help but like him. Obviously she would never let him know that, she would never hear the last of it. But if it wasn’t for him making her see sense, she might not ever have had the chance to make things right

“Good Luck Ms Naylor” He gave her a cheeky wink and strolled off back to the nurse’s station.

Jac made her way to the locker room and changed out of her scrubs and into her leathers. She gave herself a quick once over, if she was going to see Zosia, she wanted to look presentable.

“Nope no good” she said to herself.

She decided that she needed a little bit of makeup so applied a small amount of blusher and eyeliner, along with a dab of lip gloss. She untied her hair to allow her long red locks to flow and teased her roots for a bit of volume. That was the best she could do with such a short amount of. She gave herself one more look in the mirror and let out a jittery sigh. She was nervous, more nervous than the night she approached Zosia’s hotel door, but she couldn’t wait around any longer. If she didn’t leave now she may never make it to the station.

************

It was times like these that Jac was so glad she chose a motorbike over a car, especially in rush hour. Managing to weave in and out of the traffic meant that she arrived at the train station much earlier than anticipated. According to her watch, she had 15 minutes to find Zosia before her train was due to leave.

“Where do you think you’re going” Asked the stern man standing by the barrier

“I’m not getting on a train, I just need to see someone before they leave” Jac replied as she tried to slip past to get to the platforms

“You can’t go through without a ticket”

Jac threw the worker a glare, contemplating whether or not to use her razor sharp tongue on him. On this occasion however, she thought better of it. She didn’t want to risk not being able to see Zosia before she left.

“Fine, thanks for nothing”

Jac headed over to the ticket office, where she was met with a queue of at least 4 or 5 people. Great, she thought to herself. Not only did she have to buy a ticket she didn’t even want, she now had to queue for one, wasting precious minutes.

“Come on” she shouted, the queue of people in front now staring at her

“Sorry, it’s just, I’m in a rush. I need to tell someone…..I just need to see someone before they leave for London”

Luckily for her, a kind, elderly gentleman at the front of the queue held his arm out to gesture for Jac to go in front of him. She didn’t hesitate and quickly made her way past the other commuters

“Thank you so much. I owe you. If you ever need a doctor, ask for Ms Naylor at Holby City and I’ll be there” she smiled.

“I’ll bear that in mind” he replied smiling back at Jac.

Jac paid for her ticket, thanked the elderly man once more and made her way back to the barriers.

“Clearly you’re not in the mood for helping me out, but any chance you could tell me what platform the 16.52 to London is?” Jac asked the stern rail worker

“Platform 4” he said sharply

“Not so hard was it” Jac replied sarcastically as she made her way through to the station. Luckily Holby City station was nowhere near as big as the ones in London, so platform 4 was only a stone’s throw away from the entrance. She hastily started searching for a glimpse of the woman she came here to find, but was proving more difficult than she thought. Trying to spot one person through a crowd of commuters wasn’t exactly an easy task. She made her way towards the platform and there, in the corner of her eye was Zosia. She spotted her sitting on one of the benches, staring into space like she had the whole world on her shoulders.

As she walked towards her, her brain was working overtime, trying to figure out what to do, what to say. She couldn’t mess this up, not now

“Zosia”

Zosia snapped her head around to the direction of the familiar voice and stared blankly at Jac. Was she imagining it, or was Jac Naylor really standing in front of her

“Jac? What the hell are you doing here?”

Jac wasn’t sure if Zosia was angry or confused, or both. She had to be honest with herself and Zosia, she had to lay all her cards on the table.

“I came to apologise” There was a pause, Jac choosing her words carefully

“I wanted to let you know how sorry I am for everything that happened, for the way I spoke to you that day in my office and the way I have treated you since. I never wanted things to be this way, I really regret the way I have behaved”

Zosia continued to stare at Jac, her face frozen in the same confused expression

“Zosia, say something please” Jac pleaded, she didn’t know how this was going, Zosia was giving nothing away

“What do you want me to say” Zosia got up from the bench she was sitting on and stood in front of Jac

“You really hurt me Jac. I honestly thought we could have had a chance, but you pushed me away. I was only ever trying to do what I thought was best for everyone, but that wasn’t good enough for you was it?” Zosia was clearly upset and Jac hated seeing her like this, hated knowing that she was the cause.

 “Zosia I know and I really am sorry. I was selfish, I was putting my own feelings first as always. I understand now, I see why you have to go. But it doesn’t change how I feel, even after everything I said”

Zosia tried to hold back, she didn’t want to cry in front of Jac, or a packed station for that matter, but she couldn’t stop the escape of a lone tear to fall. Jac reached out and cupped Zosia’s face, wiping her cheek with her thumb.

“Do you know what, the funny thing is I never wanted to go, I never wanted to leave Holby, I was just trying to get a reaction out of you. And now I’m here, waiting for a train I don’t want to get on” The tears were now falling freely, Zosia couldn’t control her emotions any longer

“Zosh, please don’t cry” Jac pulled her in for a hug, squeezing her tightly

“You are doing the right thing I promise, you are so lucky to have this opportunity and it’s only for a few months. If you hate it that much, you can always leave, but you should see it though. I just didn’t want to lose you, I was acting out for my own selfish reasons”

Zosia pulled herself out from Jac, their faces inches apart

“You didn’t want to lose me?” Zosia whispered

“No” Jac gazed at Zosia, trying to muster up the courage for her next sentence.

“Zosia, I like you…Really like you. I was scared that you would go to London, not come back and that I would lose you forever. Lose the chance of ever knowing what could have happened between us. I couldn’t have let you go today without you knowing how I felt”

If Zosia could have pinched herself in that moment, she would have. Jac Naylor had poured her heart out, something that Zosia knew wouldn’t have been easy for her.

“Jac…I” Zosia couldn’t get her words out, she was so overcome with what she had just heard. She grabbed Jac by the back of her neck and kissed her with all her might. Jac returned, just as hungrily, not caring of the attention they were now getting.

They momentarily parted, their foreheads resting on each other

“Sooo, does this mean I’m forgiven?” smiled Jac

“I’ll think about it” replied Zosia and continued with their kiss. After weeks of nothing, they forgot how good it felt to be in each other arms again. They didn’t want to let go, but the increasing sound of the train approaching made them realise the time

“Shit, that’s mine. I don’t want to go” pleaded Zosia

“Yes you do, you will be amazing” Jac didn’t want her to go either, but knew she couldn’t let her pass on such a rewarding experience

“What about us?” asked Zosia

“I’ll be waiting for you when you come back” smiled Jac.

“I can’t wait that long to see you, 10 months is ages” whimpered Zosia

“Well you won’t have to, I’ll visit you in London. Take you out on our first date, if you would like that? Asked Jac

“I would love that” beamed Zosia

The other passengers started getting on the train and Zosia knew she had to do the same otherwise it would be leaving without her. She planted her lips on Jac’s one last time, savouring the moment so she wouldn’t forget how it felt.

“You better go Zosh” Jac sadly stated as she looked over Zosia’s shoulder and saw the time

Zosia slid her hand around Jac’s waist and leaned in close to her ear

“I forgot to say how hot you look in your leathers. I’ll miss you” smirked Zosia in a low sultry tone that left Jac stammering for her words

“Zosia….” Jac sighed as she released her grip from around the redhead

“Hmmmm” Zosia purred

“What are you doing next weekend?” Jac asked

“Nothing, why?”

“Would you let me take you out for our first official date?” Jac asked

“I’ll have to think about it……..Yes” she laughed

“Great!” Jac replied, a little bit over enthusiastically

A high pitched sound from the whistle behind them meant their encounter had to come to an end. Zosia grabbed up her bags and quickly rolled them towards the train doors. As she got in she turned and gave Jac a small wave and a loving smile which Jac mirrored. The doors shut sharpish and slowly departed from the platform, leaving Jac alone once again. She grabbed her phone and started tapping away

_I’ll miss you too. Good luck, you will be great x”_

Zosia’s reply came back instantly

_Will be counting down the days until I get to see you. I’ll let you know when I arrive xx_

Jac looked at her phone and smiled like a love sick puppy. She wasn’t used to the feelings that were starting to flourish, but she liked it. She liked the effect Zosia was having on her. She too would be counting down the days until she got to see her brunette beauty again.


End file.
